


Paradise by the Dashboard Light

by Ellen Smithee (ellensmithee)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Car Sex, Crack, Fluff, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-23
Updated: 2012-12-23
Packaged: 2017-11-22 03:37:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/605409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ellensmithee/pseuds/Ellen%20Smithee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Remus + Severus + a flying car</p>
            </blockquote>





	Paradise by the Dashboard Light

**Author's Note:**

> First posted in 2004.

"I don't see why you insist on walking me home. I'm quite capable of finding my way through the forest on my own."

"And I don't see why you couldn't Floo back with Albus and Minerva."

"I need the fresh air. The Dark Lord always seems to want to meet in dank, mouldy dungeons. It's hell on my sinuses."

"Well, you've been through a lot tonight. I just want to make sure you'll be all right."

"I've already told you. I _am_ all right, Lupin. Look, just because we occasionally… shag, doesn't mean there's anything deeper between us, so you needn't pretend you care."

Lupin froze and then removed his hand from Snape's arm. Turning without a word, he stormed into the forest. Snape stood there for a moment, cursing, before stalking after him.

His pace quickened when he heard Lupin cry out. Coming into the clearing, he found the other man walking around a large object covered in leaves and vines.

"Look, Severus, a car! How do you think it got here?"

Snape stepped closer, peering at the car in the gloom. "It must be that car that Potter and the youngest Weasley boy flew here a few years ago."

"I've always wanted to shag in the backseat of a car," Lupin said, tugging on Snape's arm and pulling him towards the car. His anger at Snape had obviously been forgotten in the excitement of the discovery. As Snape raised an eyebrow at him, he shrugged. "It's a Muggle thing. I'll explain later. Come on, expand your horizons."

"I don't think I'll be expanding anything in there."

"That's half the fun. Please?"

Snape harrumphed, but he started to pick his way through the underbrush towards the car, grumbling along the way. "I thought you were concerned about my health."

"Ever hear of 'sexual healing'?"

"Ha, ha."

Lupin opened the door with an exaggerated bow. "After you, kind sir."

"Shut it, Lupin," Snape said without heat, as he slipped into the back seat, followed closely by the other man. 

"Hmm, this is cosy." Lupin slung an arm around Snape's shoulders and turned his head to nuzzle Snape's ear.

"Lupin, what- hmmph!" Lupin prevented Snape from complaining any further by sticking his tongue in the other man's mouth.

"Hmm," Lupin said, pulling back with a contented sigh a few minutes later. "I feel like I'm flying."

"That's because we are."

"What?!"

It was true. At some point, Arthur Weasley's car had taken off and was now flying high above the Forbidden Forest.

"Oh," Snape said silkily. "Did I or did I not tell you this is a flying car? I'm sorry. Not afraid of heights, are we?"

"Prat." Lupin kissed him again, slipping his hand inside Snape's robes this time to rub it over the bulge in Snape's pants. Snape lifted his hips as Lupin pushed down his pants for more access. Lupin started stroking him, firm strokes from the base to the tip. "I love how your cock feels in my hand. Soft and hard in all the right places."

Snape muttered something inarticulate in agreement as his hand crept into Lupin's trousers. Soon both men were twisting and moaning under the mutual stimulation. To Snape's satisfaction, Lupin broke first this time.

"Severus, I want you in me. Now. You wouldn't happen to have any lube on you, would you?"

"No, of course not. What am I, a walking apothecary's shop? Damn."

A loud knocking noise drew their attention to the front of the car. Suddenly, the glove box opened with a crash and an object flew out and hit Snape right on the nose. As he yowled in pain, Lupin bent down and picked up the object from the floor. 

"What is it?" Snape asked, rubbing his nose.

"Erm, lube," Lupin said, holding up the bottle for Snape's inspection.

"How fortuitous. Not to mention _Weasley_ -ous."

Lupin laughed and quickly shrugged off the rest of his clothes. Uncapping the bottle and pouring a liberal amount in his hand, he began to rub it onto his cock, hissing at the feel of the cool gel.

"Merlin, it tingles!"

"We'll have to send Molly a thank-you note. And - wait a minute - I thought I was topping!"

"Shut _up_ , Snape, and get your arse over here."

Snape scowled, but he kicked off his pants and arranged himself with much bumping and swearing until he was squatting over Lupin's erection. Lupin wasted no time, his unguent-covered fingers insinuating themselves into Snape's hole, one after the other, stretching him and preparing him, while Snape's cock bobbed in his face, occasionally slapping him lightly on the chin. When Snape was fairly purring with pleasure, Lupin leaned forward and took his cock in his mouth, sucking hard while his fingers reached deeper until he found the gland. Snape saw stars and he jolted up, banging his head on the roof of the car and cursing, as he came with a shout. Then he looked down at Lupin, unaware of how beautiful and utterly shaggable he looked, seeing only the uncontrolled passion darkening the other man's eyes.

"Fuck me now, Remus."

Snape cringed at the desperate-sounding whine in his voice, but Remus just grinned. He pulled his fingers from Snape's arse with a pop and positioned his cock at Snape's hole. He started to enter Severus slowly, but Snape would have nothing of that. He impaled himself on Remus' cock, groaning when Remus' balls bounced up to slap his arse. He entwined his fingers with those of the other man and pushed Remus' hands up beside his head on the back of the seat, using his weight to trap the smaller man beneath him. He began to grind on Remus' hips, leaning down to kiss him, revelling in the taste of his come in the other man's mouth. As Remus' breath grew short, Snape accelerated his pace, and soon Remus was thrashing beneath him, crying out Severus' name.

Snape released Remus' hands and gingerly pulled himself off Remus' waning erection. Slumping on the seat next to Remus, he pulled the other man into his arms and kissed his forehead. Both men fell into a peaceful slumber as the car flew them safely back to Hogwarts.


End file.
